Good in Goodbye
by AlwaysSVU34
Summary: Oneshot songfic for Carrie Underwood's "Good in Goodbye" My first story! Please Read and Review! Told from Kathy's point of view when she sees Elliot for the first time in 5 years after their divorce as she sees there is good in goodbye. Kathy/Other Character Olivia/Elliot


"**Good in Goodbye"**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the characters from SVU. They all belong to Dick Wolf and NBC. If they did belong to me, things would be a lot different. I also don't own the song "Good in Goodbye"-that goes to Ms. Carrie Underwood

**Author's Note: **This is my first fanfiction, ever. I've been reading them for a few months now and wanted to try writing one. It's a oneshot songfic- I love listening to songs and imagining how they relate to my favorite characters. I really hope you enjoy this and will leave reviews. I want to know what you think and if I'm any good. I can take criticism.

As for the story, for purpose of ease Eli doesn't exist (way too much to explain if he did). I know a lot of people hate Kathy but I just don't see her as a cold-hearted bitch. Lyrics are in italics.

"**Good in Goodbye"**

_I heard you laughing in a crowd outside a restaurant we used to go to._

_I caught a glimpse that stopped me in my tracks- it took me back._

_You looked happy with that little girl up on your shoulders- happy_

_I know where she got those crystals eyes of blue- time's been sweet to you._

I hadn't seen him in five years. But on that Monday night walking around Queens I heard something. It was his laughter- something I had heard, albeit rarely, for so many years. I looked around and saw him outside of a little diner that we went to all the years we were together. I froze when I saw who was with him- although I shouldn't have been surprised. I always knew that when he and I fell apart that he and Liv would fall together. Seeing him standing with his arm around her shoulders reminded me of all the times he had stood that way with me. He looked so happy- there was a little girl, she looked about four years old, sitting on his shoulders trying to catch the snowflakes that had begun to fall. I could tell, even from across the street, that her eyes were the famous "Stabler Blue". Time had done him good- that much was plain. He looked happier than I think I had ever seen him all the years we were married. I glimpsed another reason for the light in his eyes when the wind started to blow and caused Liv's coat to flutter open. Her hand came to rest on her obviously pregnant belly. She grabbed Elliot's hand and held it to her stomach talking excitedly. The baby must have been kicking.

_As bad as it was, as bad as it hurt_

_I thank God I didn't get what I thought that I deserved_

_Sometimes life leads you down a different road_

_When you're holding on to someone that you gotta let go_

_Someday you'll see the reason why. _

_Sometimes, yeah sometimes, there's good in goodbye_

Our marriage had been over long before he filed for divorce the second and final time. He told me, when he handed me the papers, that while as the mother of his children he would always love me that he was tired of pretending, that he was too old to keep doing things that he didn't want to.

I think I had known that our marriage was over even before he did but actually going through with the divorce shattered me. I was so angry. HE was tired of doing things he didn't want to do?! Was that what nearly thirty years of marriage had boiled down to? Is that all it had ever been, did he regret everything? Maureen had been an accident but no child is a mistake. And what about me? It's not like I hadn't ever done things I didn't want to do- practically being a single parent, staying up all night worrying about him, being the one to make sure his mother was okay.

So I went to see a therapist- for the kids but also for me- I had to pull myself back together. She helped me see that I didn't really want what I thought I did. She helped me let go of Elliot and thirty years of painful memories. I had to let go of all the bad so I could see the good in both the past and the future.

_I don't regret it – the time we had together_

_I won't forget it-but we both ended up where we belong_

_I guess goodbye made us strong_

_And yeah I'm happy- I found somebody too who makes me happy_

_And I knew someday I'd see you on the street and it'd be bittersweet_

I don't regret Elliot. I loved him for a big part of my life and I love him still because he gave me four beautiful children who have grown-up to be amazing people. I'll never forget anything he did for me either- breakfasts in bed, Sunday evenings at the beach, the way he kissed me when I asked him to when he walked out the door for the last time. But seeing him showed me that we were exactly where God wanted us to be. And that we were both stronger when we stopped trying to fight destiny.

I was happy too, happier than I had been in a very long time. I looked at the person standing beside me. He was watching me- trying to read the thoughts that had been flashing through my mind. Michael. I had literally run into him at a coffee shop near the hospital where I worked one day nearly two years ago. I was so embarrassed but he told me that all could be forgiven and forgotten if I would join him for lunch. Lunch turned into spending the entire afternoon and evening together. His openness and honesty about his life was so refreshing for the woman who had spent years trying to get past a man's walls. It made me inclined to be open and honest with him. I told him everything and when he didn't run away screaming realized that maybe, just maybe, I had found someone special.

I knew that I would have to see Elliot again sometime- it was ludicrous to imagine any differently. We had four children- there would be weddings to go to and grandchildren to share. It surprised me a little that it had really been five years. I had figured that even in New York there was no way you could possibly not run into your ex-husband. It was funny that it had happened in Queens-so near to where we had lived for so many years. I had Michael, he had Liv, but it was still a little bittersweet.

_But_ _as bad as it was, as bad as it hurt_

_I thank God I didn't get what I thought that I deserved_

_Sometimes life leads you down a different road_

_When you're holding on to someone that you gotta let go_

_Someday you'll see the reason why. _

_Yeah sometimes, yeah sometimes, there's good in goodbye._

Now that I have Michael, I can't imagine life without him. He truly is special. We've talked about getting married but we aren't in any hurry. We're enjoying ourselves and I don't feel a desperate need to be a "mrs." anybody anymore. Neither of us wants children. Michael loves kids and is so kind to Maureen, Kathleen, Lizzie, and Richard but he told me he never saw having any of his own. As for me, I have no desire to start over again- as Elliot clearly did. We want to travel and see the world not change dirty diapers and read "The Hungry Hungry Caterpillar" ninety times a day.

My life is different than I imagined it would be when I was eighteen and saying "I do" to Elliot and delivering Maureen but I wouldn't change it for anything. I can see the reasons for all the heart break and tear now. It's so easy. And it was so worth it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

_As bad as it was, as bad as it hurt_

_I thank God I didn't get what I thought that I deserved_

_Sometimes life leads you down a different road_

_When you're holding on to someone that you've got to let go_

_Someday you'll see the reason why_

_Yeah someday you'll see the reason why_

_There's good in goodbye_

I must have been staring for a long time because Michael finally grabbed my hand and said something. It took a moment for his words to register.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry."

"It's okay, what were you staring at and thinking so hard about?"

"Do you see that man over there with the little girl and pregnant woman?"

He nodded. "It's Elliot."

"Oh, I see. Do you want to go over there and talk to him?"

I thought hard about that one. After a minute I slowly nodded. "Yes, yes I do. You should meet him. And we should say congratulations….It's time, don't you think?"

Michael smiled and kissed me. "It's whatever you decide."

I breathed in and out. "Let's go."

I took his hand and we began to walk across the street. Liv saw us first. She smiled touched Elliot's arm- causing him to notice me. He smiled too. I smiled back.

_Yeah, yeah_

_There's good in goodbye_

There would be no fights or harsh words- just kindness and smiles. We had all found the good, the great, in goodbye.


End file.
